Dedication (To O.S.)

Please don't reject this offering, I pray!
My heart is trembling like a cornered prey.
These poems are my last resort, my final guard,
So please concede and don't fight them hard!

Attack her in the heart, consume and capture it!...
It is my love, not hate, that has this fire lit.
I won't hurt you in the least, my love-
But if I win, it just could save my life.

My poor poems, if I only knew
That my beloved would be ever reading you,
That you'd be helping me achieve my goal,
I would've given you my whole soul...

But I would not be able to, of course,
Because I didn't know what love was.


Reminiscence

It was another time and place,
Another world-beyond this life
Of useless work, repast, and study,
Of worthless peace and aimless strife;

Above this earth-so grey, so muddy;
Somewhere in the clear blue,
The crystal Palace of Nowhere,
That's beautiful beyond compare-
My heart is telling me it's true-
That's where first I saw your face.

It seems it was so long ago,
But no matter where I go-
My heart is telling me, I know-
I always will remember you.


Immortal Beloved

It is not you I love, it is not you I cherish:
I love a goddess, not a mortal girl.
My Lady is divine and shall not perish
When Night and Chaos have enveloped all.

Her body, which I so ardently desire,
Shall never shrivel, never turn to dust,
Cannot be drowned or be scorched by fire,
And cannot die like living things, who must.

I also will be dead; my name shall be forgotten,
Time shall erase all memories of me.
Her body shall live on when mine has rotten;
When World is no more, it shall still be.

My Love is from an uncreated world;
It is no wonder that I am by passion swirled.


A Sinner Reformed

I sinned by thinking that this age is dark
Like all before it-maybe even more.
I sinned, and I repent. My heart was so sore-
But healed as soon as purifying spark

Of love became a flame-it didn't take too long
To set my heart ablaze-it easy was for you.
One look-and there went my rue,
And all became all right, and nothing stayed all wrong.

The world was brightened by your presence,
And it became like you-with beauty as its essence.
The torch of love, while lighting, also burns my heart,
Yet absolutely I refuse with it to part.

But share it I sure can-with you:
For I have love enough to burn us two.


At a Party, Alone

Not in this noisy place, amidst this merry crowd,
Not at this table laden with the best of drink and food,
Not on the dancing floor, with music brash and loud
(For none of them can change my sullen mood),

Amongst the flowers, beneath the chandeliers,
Surrounded by happy faces and balloons,
In company of bimbos and buffoons,
Beset by worries, insecurities, and fears-

Not here is my heart, not here I belong!
I like to be with friends, I like to dance,
And yet there's something definitely wrong,
Which makes me sit and stare in a trance:

In this huge room, with dancing colors lit,
I'm sitting staring at your empty seat.


Enchantment

I cannot fall asleep, and if I do, I can't
Get up when with sun rays the morning sky is rent.

I see a restless dream, awake all through the night,
And keep on dreaming when the sun has spread his light.

From morning dawn until next morning's dawn
My every thought and dream is filled with you alone,

And, like a knight enslaved by magic charms,
I'll sleep until I wake up in your arms.


A Serenade

There are many stars, but only one sun
In the clear skies above;
And among women there is only one,
But one, whom I dearly love.

There's only one woman, but one, for whom I
Would conquer and would fall,
For whom I would live, for whom I would die
With no regret at all.

I have only one love, but it is enough,
Quite enough to break my heart
If my beloved shall at me laugh
And forever from me depart.


At a Loss for Words

How can I say what has been on my mind
For such a short, yet so long a time?
O Mr. Webster, where can I find
The words of love-so simple, yet sublime?

Had I been counting the time since I first saw
Your beautiful and so dear sight
(Potential cause of happiness? or woe?)
In clock ticks rather than in beats of heart;

Had I let pure logic dominate
My actions, my emotions, my thoughts;
Had I been less dependent on my fate
And free to choose one from a million lots,

The outcome of each of which I knew-
I'd still have picked the one in which you'd love me too.


You Don't Have to Love Me Back

You do not have to love me back,
Just seeing you's enough.
How I wish I were the scarf
You wear around your neck,

And if I can't caress it-still,
At least I'd keep you warm,
Protecting you from every storm,
From every wind and chill.

The warmest scarf can but prolong
Your healthy state, while I
Could make it so you'll never die,
Immortalized in song.

...And if my heart breaks-let it break.
You do not have to love me back.


A Farewell to My Mustache

ON THE AUTHOR HAVING TO SHAVE OFF HIS MUSTACHE TO SATISFY HIS BELOVED'S REQUEST

Good-bye, my mustache, trusted old friend!
Or, rather, farewell! Your life is at an end.

You failed to follow the latest fashion's trend,
And I will have to cut you with my own hand.

You won't feel the pain: I've covered you with lather.
My hand, that brushed you lovingly, has gripped a razor.

Since puberty we've always been together;
I wore you through all times of day, all kinds of weather,

Proof of maturity, of masculinity, with pride...
I hope that you'll take your destiny in stride.

Good-bye! By Love's command I must abide,
Although it means committing mustachecide.

With steady hand I'll play the killer's part:
Loss of my Love, not loss of you, can truly break my heart.


Insanity

I think that I am going insane:
With heart succumbed to love, my mind succumbs to pain.

I notice not what's happening around;
My eyes keep searching aimlessly the ground;

Whenever I look up, I see your face,
It keeps on after me in an eternal chase.

Why can't my eyes avoid you, what's the matter?
With closed eyes I see you even better.

Alone, I speak to you, not to myself,
A madman who his hopes wouldn't shelve.

My work, my thoughts, my sleep are interrupted
By memories of you, so clear, uncorrupted.

You are my Goddess, for on you alone depends
If happiness begins and whether madness ends.


A Visit to the Doctor

"I must be sick. I also must be mad,
For, being ill, I also praise my illness.
So what if I may end up dead?
I am already breathless!"

"Let's see now: weakness, the redness of eyes,
The heartbeat, the breathing-you do realize
That you are in love, my dear?
Yes, yes, the symptoms are clear!"

"I don't think I've ever had before
This frightening and fascinating feeling:
Each time when I am near her
I always feel like kneeling!"

"Let's see now: weakness, the redness of eyes,
The heartbeat, the breathing-that's not a surprise!
You must be in love, my dear!
Yes, yes, the symptoms are clear!"

"I'd love relief. I'd hate return to norm.
I'd rather now die than rot forever.
To quiet I prefer a storm,
To placidness-a fever!"

"Let's see now: weakness, the redness of eyes,
The heartbeat, the breathing-oh, how unwise!
Your illness is love, my dear!
Yes, yes, the symptoms are clear!"


Love as a Medical Phenomenon

They call it "love". It strikes without warning,
This pathological condition of the mind,
Affecting victim's body, heart, and soul
And making him or her blind as a mole.
Afflicted persons usually can find
No rest or sleep, from morning until morning.

We do not have a cure for this ailment.
It's been around for more centuries than flue
And has resulted in quite many lethal cases.
Among the sufferers are people of all races.
Hormones may provide us with a clue,
But we're not ready yet to make a statement.

Time is the only remedy we know,
But healing of heart wounds is sometimes very slow.


Continuous Loving

I cannot understand myself: I laugh,
Tell jokes, chat with friends-and not just talk aloud;
I wear suits, and not a mourning shroud:
'Guess I get going when going gets tough.

My days should be devoted to drink,
My nights-be filled with melancholy meditations;
There are diversions, and there are temptations-
And yet of you alone I should think.

Of you and you alone-all the time,
Not only every minute-every nanosecond!
My mind should think of you, or should be vacant.
Forgetting you should be a punishable crime.

But even if it's not, my love for you shall stay,
Each minute of each night and every day!


Hope & Despair

When all appears hopelessly lost,
Remembering your love, I do not yet despair:
For I still have the thing I treasure most,
Of my posessions most precious, most rare.

And I recall my hope that some day
We shall united be in body and in soul;
All things may go wrong, and yet I may
Attain at last my most valuable goal.

But then my hope is by doubt marred:
I think you love me, but I just cannott be sure.
Perhaps it's wishful thinking on my part,
Perhaps for nothing is the pain that I endure.

If you do love me, darling, let me know,
So that my days will not be filled with woe.


A Farewell to My Heart

My heart, you still expect me to believe?
You, who's betrayed me so many times!
You, who's committed so many crimes
Against your owner, I know, want to leave.

I cannot blame you: you've been often hurt;
My chest cannot protect you well enough
Against the arrows of cruel Love,
For love, like birth-and death-I can't avert.

I know who you want to leave me for.
Take my advice, take heed: she needs you not!
To be unwanted is a sorry lot,
And this is just what is for you in store.

So if you want to go, listen first and learn:
Find someone who will give me her heart in return!


Limited Possibilities

Nobody deserves to be richer than you,
Nobody could manage great wealth so well;
But I steal not, and work is of little avail:
I will never be able to give you your due.

Politicians like madmen for power lust;
If you were a queen, yours would be perfect state;
But since I'm not a king, people will have to wait
For a queen so gentle and yet so just.

People want to be happy; few ever succeed;
That you're worthy of happiness, all would agree;
But I am no god, and I cannot decree
That you have all you want and whatever you need.

Not a thief, not a king, and, alas, not a god,
I still hope to make you the most beloved.


Love vs. Infatuation

Is this real love? or infatuation?
How do I know? How can I tell?
What I feel is passion, tenderness, affection,
And it seems this fire nought can ever quell.

But perhaps some day I shall meet somebody,
And a new desire will replace the old,
And, when what seemed pretty will appear shoddy,
To a higher bidder my heart will be sold?

When I will get used to your lovely presence,
Will it ever bore me? Will I get annoyed?
When you grow older, will you lose your essence?
Will my world it's filling then become a void?

Maybe it's not love, but at least I know:
Darling, what I feel into love can grow.


Uncertainty

Will I always be yours? Will you always be mine?
Will we live ever after in happy sunshine?

Will I ever get bored? Will I ever betray?
Or will love hold forever me under its sway?

Will I always be thankful, or will I regret
That my heart was awakened the minute we met?

Will I always see love when I look in y our eyes?
Will I think you a burden, or always-a prize?

Will I get satiated, my passion-subside?
Or will it burn forever, with you by my side?

I don't know the answers. I know that I
Want to love you forever-at least till I die.


A Pleasant Surprise

My love! O joy! You love me too?
I can't believe that this is true.
For after all that I've been through,
I lost all hope.

I had no hope, no clue
That you love me as I love you,
That I am wooed by her I woo,
I'm such a dope!

Yet I did love you, and I knew:
A day would come when we'd be two,
When to a happy world and new
We would elope.


When I Step Out...

When I step out of my lonesome abode
Into a world caressed by sweet and gentle wind,
A fragrant world, all bathing in the friendly rays of sun-
I'm no longer lonely; I'm with Nature one;
I feel that I by feeling sad have sinned,
And lighter feels my ever-heavy load,
And I forgive all that you have and haven't done.

The world is filled with cheer; chirping, singing sound
Awakens happiness I never truly knew;
Wild flowers brightly bloom amid a fresh green sea of grass,
And peacefulness is come, and gone is my distress,
And I feel loved by God, feel loved by you,
And I would give all that I see around
And all I feel inside for you, beloved lass!


A Wake-up Greeting

Arise, beloved! Let thine eyes shine forth,
In kind replying to the welcome from the sun.
The darkness of the night has run its course,
Has dissipated, by the light overrun.

Arise, so you may hear the choir of birds
Accompany arrival of the day,
How every living being it alerts
That day has come, that day is here to stay.

Arise! We'll sleep enough when we are gone.
For now, let's enjoy the flowers and trees,
The sky, where our hearts each other won,
The rivers, and the sun's warm, gentle kiss.

While we can feel, by the Almighty's grace,
Beloved, come receive my warm embrace!


Valentine's Day

I haven't known you for long,
And yet, it seems, I've known you forever.
To say I know all about you'd be wrong.
I know you are beautiful, and clever,

With mind that's open for thought
And ready to reach out with a question,
With face and body Venus-wrought,
With modesty to blush at such suggestion.

I know you are changeful like the sea,
Now turbulent, now playful, now quiet.
But, always different, the same you'll always be:
When you believe in something, you stand by it.

I think I know you, and yet each day anew
I need fresh proof of love, my Valentine, from you.


My Dear Friends

Thank goodness for the friends I've got!
What would I do without them?
For when they learned
About my lot:
Being in love with a girl who does not
For me give a damn-
Oh, they were so concerned!

Had it not been for my good friends,
I'd never know I was blind,
For they discerned
All your evil ends:
Testing to see if my heart Love first rends,
Or scrambles the mind;
And they became so concerned!

They've never seen the way we kiss,
Nor have they seen the way we hug,
They never burned
With passion like this,
They don't desire, or care, or miss-
This is why they bug,
This is why they are concerned!


Gratitude

For as long as I live, I'll remember
The taste of your lips and the touch of your hand,
And I ardently wish that my love'll never end,
That I'll always remain a Love's slave,
That together we'll enter into bridal chamber
And together will lie in the grave.

For as long as I live, I will know
A woman like you I was lucky to meet,
And that I could have searched every square and street,
Every corner of Ocean and Earth,
And might not have discovered that wonderful glow
Of your love-only cause of my mirth.

Though bad days be many and good days be few-
I know I'll always be happy with you.


In Suspense

It's not quite true, my friend; I'm not a fool.
My problem's not stupidity, but madness.
I am in love, and therefore I drool;
My sensuality has simply made me senseless.

For some, love's happiness; it used to be for me.
To others, a refusal brings despair.
I, too, with heartbreak paid a break?up fee
To her-the fairest of all-who yet was not quite fair.

But now I am told that yes, I have a chance.
Perhaps she will decide today, perhaps tomorrow,
Or in a year, or two, or three-if I should dance
From joy, or whether I should cry from sorrow.

Thus in suspense, all I can do is wait,
Because eternal happiness' the bait.


Depravation-Depravity

Deprived of you, of happiness and peace,
I spend my days in destitute despair.
If I could only touch you, or caress y our hair!
But no... into emptiness I stare
And dream of you, whose love I so miss.

Dejected, I recall your eyes; your face;
The lips I loved to kiss; your gracefu l figure....
My sadness is so vast, my pleasure so meager,
To see you just once more I'm so eager,
I'd give my whole life for one embrace.

Be damned the Fate, circumstances, and people
Who have been keeping us apart for so long;
They can hurt me; my love they cannot cripple-
My love for you for them will prove too strong.


A Solemn Promise

My darling, I want you to know:
I will satisfy every need and request,
Whenever, wherever you want, I will go,
Whatever the cost and whatever the quest.

One look, or one word, or one gesture
To me will convey your immediate command;
I'm ready for any and every adventure-
At sea, in the air, in space, or on land.

I'll faithfully serve you, my dear,
As ever a lady was served by a knight;
Without all tire, without all fear,
For you and for every your cause I shall fight;

Whatever you may need, I willingly shall do;
Just don't ever ask to give up loving you.


One More Little Chance

Why can't I be strong? I knew it was wrong
To fall so deeply in love;
But I have been paying the price for so long,
That, by angels below and above,

I deserve-just a glance, just one more little chance
To prove that I'm worthy of you;
Just to see you, to hold you, to lead you in dance,
Just to show: my love for you's true!

I suffer such pain that it can't be in vain!
I've lost heart and am losing my mind!
If I do not behold your sun-like face again,
Like a mole I shall go blind!

I need you like the sun, of the others no one
Will take ever your place in my heart;
Only your love can heal me, for nought can be done
By any man's science or art!


Against All Odds

Against all odds, against my premonition
And your assurance that you can love me not,
I persevere still and stick to my decision
To give you all the love that I have got.

By all undaunted, yet again I swear
That I will love you till Death's darkness does us part,
You, in the whole world the most fair,
The only mistress of my only heart.


A Petition

A death row prisoner, awaiting your decision
To pardon or condemn me to a cruel death,
I'm full of anger at myself, of wrath
For being such a moron on suspense,
For being able to rely on only one defense:
It was my love for you that clouded my vision.

I've but myself to blame, which makes me doubly mad.
By love my hatred for myself is fed.

I am obsessed with you, I dream of you alone,
With none but you I always long to be;
If you could only share this with me!
I wish that I could die before I learn:
I for eternal suffering was born.
I pray for mercy, love; your heart can't be a stone!


Useless Hope

I beg you: do not try to give again new hope!
With my depression I have learned to cope.
Without hope I have learned at last to live,
And how to without getting love-to give.

White lies, vague promises will not make me feel better.
What would I do if you my hope shatter?
What would I do to stop the sudden, poignant pain?
I'm weak and I'm afraid I'd break under the strain.

Perhaps the Fate did not intend us for each other.
If I can't prove my love for you, why bother?
Some people love too much, some-not enough.
I can't help loving you; you can't help not to love.

I cannot love you less-so try to love me more,
Because I want to love you and adore!


***

Why do you come to trouble me at night?
Why do you make me dream about you?
Yes, to refuse my love you have the right.
So use it, use it! Tell me now: we are through.

You've got my heart; you took my peace of mind.
The former was a gift; the latter I need back.
Before, my love for you had made me blind.
But now I can see the whole world-as black.

I love you still, and I myself despise.
I can't blame you if you despise me, too.
For far too long I've dreamed of paradise,
And kept on dreaming when the dream did not come true.

Please leave me, leave me, do not drive me mad!...
But if you love me, please forget all that I've said.


Missed Opportunities

When I think of things I could have achieved
It makes me doubly sad,
For I could've written many a song
If we had never met;
If I had not been for so long,
For far too long deceived.

When I think of girls whom I could have loved
If I had not loved you,
When I think of money I could have saved,
I'm filled with gloom and rue;
For only you alone I craved,
To you by Love handcuffed.

Oh, what will it take to open my eyes
And close aching heart?
I guess I will only then understand,
When we completely part:
Love's every pleasure, in the end,
Is torture in disguise.


Rondo

You say you like me. That is not enough.
I'm liked by most people whom I know.
A lot of them are women. Maybe, had I given
To one of them as much affection as I gave to you,
If I was as persistent with another,

If someone else I constantly would bother--
Perhaps that someone's love for me would be as true,
Perhaps I would not be to mad depression driven....
There's nothing I can do; I cannot let you go:
If I pretend to, you might call my bluff.


Love's Wounds

You avoided to look into my pleading eyes
When you said that you feel no love.
I had asked for the truth but was waiting for lies.
I had thought that I was strong and tough.

From my wisdom, I thought, strong defense I had built
And I thought that I was on my guard.
I was wrong: I was hurt through my armor and shield,
And your words reached and pierced my heart.

For the armor of wisdom, I found too late,
Against love is but poor defense.
No wall, no tower, and no gate
Can protect against Love's pointed lance.

...And the wounded by Love ask for mercy in vain,
But can just cry and laugh at themselves through the pain.


Late Knowledge

I never new before, I never guessed
That I could love so tenderly and deeply,
Devoid of sleep, devoid of rest,
My reason overcome completely.

I wasn't told, I never heard before
That love could be an ecstasy--and torture;
The Paradise--and Hell; the cold--and the fire,
That it could brightly burn without tire,

But at the same time needed care, needed nurture,
For, once extinguished, it would not light ever more....
I learned too late. The flame is now gone,
My heart reduced to ashes, now cold.
And, feeling infinitely old,
I'm facing all the world-alone.


***

Would you feel better, my love, if I die?
Sometimes I wish I would.
For then I would not feel at all,
My hopes won't rise and fall
When in the grave I'll lie.
So maybe die I should.


***

I want to be with you-so why am I alone?
To hold your hands, to look into your eyes--
That's all I ask (for now), but of stone
Your heart is made. That's where my problem lies.

Why else, if not because you do not care,
Why is it that you don't understand
What caused my suffering, my pain, and my despair,
And why without sleep the nights I spend.


Nothing's Left

O, what can I compare to the pain,
The poignant pain that's piercing my heart?
To make it cease I have tried so hard,
But my attempts have been so far in vain.

I still recall your face each time I see
A girl who's also beautiful and young;
Each time this happens, I anew am stung,
For I recall that you abandoned me.

I made too many small and large mistakes.
Did I reveal my love too early? or too late?
You know that I would do everything it takes
To bring you back, to change my cruel fate....

But all that I can do is stifle my heart's cry
And suffer silently until the day I die.


***

The sun is dying somewhere in the West,
And covering the darkened sky with blood;
But it will be reborn after night's rest;
It will arise again, like an immortal god.

I cannot see my soul as it dies,
Can't see the blood that's gushing from my heart;
I know not if I again will rise,
Or will my life--just like your love--depart?


Tomorrow It Will Be Too Late

I know: tomorrow, like every day,
I'll see the sun's emerging ray;
But it's already dark today,
All I can see is faint glow;

I know that darkness will not always stay,
I know: tomorrow my life could be gay...
But know all this though I may,
All I can feel is sorrow.


Fate's Judgment

That dawn again... The same and not the same.
My heart, my heart, why cannot you be tame?
So what that she left, so what?
It was simply my lot.

And only yesterday... An age, an eon passed.
That which I thought was gold--devoured dust.
An indifferent judgment of fate
That simply came late.


To a Former Love

Perhaps in fifty, maybe sixty years
You'll come across this crumpled, yellowed page.
I hope finding it will not cause outrage.
And I--I will be dead. I'll be beyond all cares.

Perhaps you'll smile, perhaps you'll shed a tear
When you re?read your lover's ancient plea.
And then, of course, perhaps you won't remember me....
I won't give a damn. I will be dead, my dear.


The Song of the Hopeless

It's usually life that is brought by the spring--
But not this time, not to me;
New life to the man and new leaves to the tree
It gives, making everyone happy and free;
But not only did it not happiness bring--
Last chance and last hope from me did it wring,
Last one from me.

It's usually light that is brought by the sun,
But not this time, not to me;
New hope to man and new day to the Earth
It gives, and produces much laughter and mirth;
But though it may be kind to everyone,
It only reminds me of things that are gone,
Long gone from me.


Fortune's Debt Paid

I'm not a coward. I am not afraid
To vanish somewhere from where there's no return,
In this world, I for everything have paid.
I shall not curse it, but I shall not mourn.

When time shall come, I'll leave--with no regret.
Great happiness I gained, and what I gained I lost.
At least I'm now not in Fortune's debt:
For what I owed her I paid the highest cost.


A Conversation with the Sun

"Why are you staring at me,
Sun's bloodshot, reddened eye,
With pity, or contemptuous glee,
Or hatred, from the sky?
Is it my fault
That she does not
Share my love?
You from above
Can see it all!
Answer my call!
Please be my judge,
Do not begrudge
Me some advise;
You, so wise,
Please tell me why
She, for whom I
Would gladly die,
Told me 'good-bye'?"

"I do not love and do not hate,
I'm just amazed to see
A man in such a sorry state,
A spineless fool like thee!"


The Last Letter

I love you still. If I could only know
What makes me love you, maybe I could stop,
And on somebody better, kinder would bestow
My love, my heart, my blood to the last drop.
Perhaps on having searched North, South, East, and West
I'd find somebody better to invest
My love with, someone who would pay me back--
I do not need a lot, a little is enough....
But the ability to love must be such precious stuff,
And maybe it's just something that you lack.
But it's O.K.... I'll love you ever more--
Of this ability I have an endless store....
I know loving you just isn't right.
I want to stop, I want to sleep at night,
To think of work, of anything but you;
I want to stop retelling to the sky
About how strongly I love you and why
(About "why" I haven't got a clue).
To win your love I no longer hope,
And to stop loving you I no longer can.
Perhaps a wiser, stronger man could cope
With this--but evidently I'm not such a man.
I envy lucky people who can cry.
I pray for tears, but my eyes are dry.
To those who can weep the life can still be dear.
I hate my life, of death I have no fear--
But shall I die before my work is done,
Before my mission on the Earth's accomplished?
Will all my plans forever be abolished
Before the task is really begun?
I live not just for you--for mankind and for God;
To them, and not to me or you belongs my blood.
I cannot die, and so have to suffer.
I know there is hell because I live in it.
I do not know of a punishment that's tougher
Than mine; but I was stupid, I admit:
One should not fall in love at the first sight,
One should control love so that he might
Extinguish it at will and easily forget
The girl whose love he somehow could not get;
One should not open up until he is quite sure
That his beloved's love for him is strong and will endure,
And when she looks at him, one should not pay attention,
One should not show his concern and tension
When she is in the company of males
And when she's dancing with somebody else.
Let her be jealous, let her be the one to worry.
Remember that with love there is no hurry:
If you are patient, you will get her yet,
And there are always girls you haven't met
Or whom you did not notice before
Who are by far more beautiful than her....
But what's the use of knowing the rules?
It wasn't lack of knowledge--it was the lack of will
That led me, like a million other fools,
To nail myself to passion's torture wheel.
I knew this well, but when I saw you first,
I was right then and there overwhelmed by thirst:
To kiss your lips, to gently touch your hair--
These were the things that seemed beyond compare;
To look into your eyes, to hold your hands in mine--
These were the things that seemed to be divine....
If there was something I could do to win your love, I would,
But there is absolutely nothing, bad or good.
You simply cannot give that which you don't have,
And it is not your fault my heart is rent in half.
I do not blame you: you did not encourage me at all,
You did not make believe you were an easy goal,
You were just friendly--it was me who wanted more
Than pure friendship--I am guilty, therefore.
Perhaps it serves me well for being not content
To have the best of women for a friend.
I'm sorry I embarrassed you with glances,
Called you at night, invited you to dances,
Sent letters, wrote poems, bored with talk....
And I am grateful that you did not mock
My perseverance in the attempts to please,
And did not laugh at me, and did not tease,
And did not give false hope, and that you, I know,
Felt sorry for my sake when you had to say "no"....
There will be someone else who'll love you as I do,
He will be luckier, and you will love him too;
I bid you to be happy and be well,
And not to worry that I live in hell.


The Verdict

Don't say: it's the fate, it was not meant to be.
You well know: the culprit is you.
It was you who decided you cannot love me;
It was you who so ruthlessly slew

Love unborn, which you've carried inside so long,
But to whom, yet, you gave no chance,
Like a baby aborted, an unwritten song,
An unstaged play, an unbegun dance.

You've plucked out the seed I had tenderly put
In a crevice of your rocky heart,
For which I so fervently prayed;
But I guess it would have been too good

(And I think I knew this from the start)
If my plans were reality made.


Being In Love

O, I would rather die than never feel again
That ecstasy, that suffering and pain

Which brings to mortals the immortal Love;
As jealous as a hawk, as gentle as a dove

It makes me, and I cannot stay the same,
I have to play the never?ending game

Of passionate and caring romance,
Of watching out for a favorable glance;

The game of catching but a gesture or a smile...
You, Love, can make the wisest man senile!

All power of reasoning is gone,
And passion and desire reign alone.

You'll get me high, or you will lay me low...
O Love, o Being Loved, I love you so!


It's Over

It's over, and not a drop is left
Of blood that used to trickle day and night
From my love-smitten heart, of you bereft--
A dying flower which was deprived of light.

It's over, and tears no more
Ooze out of my soul's blinded eyes--
From love, and later from despair sore,
Beguiled by false promises and lies.

It's over. Eternity has passed
Since time, that cursed time we said good-bye.
I thought despair would forever last,
I thought from grief and pain I soon would die--

But I survived my grief, despair, pain,
And ready am to fall in love again.


Tired of Being Sad

Let my tired heart be filled with gladness
Like this glass that is filled with fine wine
I am tired of being unhappy,
And I want to let happiness shine.

Refrain: Go away, o my sadness!
Vanish right out of sight!
I am tired of feeling unhappy,
And I want to be happy tonight!

In great suffering there's little greatness.
I've been fighting for love so hard;
But I'm tired of feeling unhappy!
Let this wine seal my broken heart!

Refrain

To continue loving is madness.
It is now high time to forget.
I am tired of feeling unhappy,
And I want to be no longer sad.

Refrain


Coda in C Major

Forget--and live. Life always can replace whatever's gone. Time can all things erase, and love alone may sometimes cause a period of grief.... The Fate is not a thief. It doesn't hurt without pause, it sometimes shows grace. Where there was ever loss, there will be gain. You'll be reborn, you will be young again. The world around you will have a new bright face. You shall no longer mourn. You shall forget. And you shall love. And-live!


The Epilogue

My dear friend, o reader of these lines!
If you read this, you must have felt like me.
You must have sacrificed your heart at many shrines
And asked, to be in love or not to be.

You must have felt frustrations of denial,
The soaring of hopes, and the crash;
You searched, you waited, looking at the dial,
You too expected a reward and not a lash.

O reader, cry with me! We both were wrong.
We asked too much, we waited for too long.
We both learned that love, no matter how strong,

Can be, should sometimes be subdued
By men with courage and self-discipline imbued.
Of them, for them shall now sing my lute.